Not Graphophobia, but...
Okay, I am awesome today. I have been so awesome or awful this year. Well, I will say it's been mostly wonderful. I am less anxious and I am making progress in so many areas. Which makes me happy. I am working on my fitness and wellness. It's so great to feel physically stronger and mentally confident. Okay, maybe not every day, but I am making progress and it is awesome. I have been able to do much more on my own and I can help my parents more. I am just so proud of me, I am 22 and I am still learning to do things that I thought I would never be able to do. Okay, I should say when you are disabled you are given a time-line by "experts" who say if you don't do something by a certain age you will never do it. I am angry at this. I learn differently than a common person and I am not a quitter so shhhh, and let me do it at my own speed. I am aware of what I can't do. I am scared of what I am never going to be capable of. I'm scared of what someone will assume of me when I am having a bad communication day, or a day when I just can't wake up enough to be able to be present and attentive to my surroundings. I'm scared because I need a day to recover after a day being my best. I am exhausted after listening, typing, watching and being attentive. It's a lot of work and I am a bad sleeper so it's hard to recover quickly. But I am getting better at that too. As for typing, I'm not making the progress I have hoped for. I got really good and I showed some people, and then it got harder again; okay, I have good typing days but lately I'm not so good at it. I think I'm too impatient with slow typing.
Question: Are you satisfied with your ability to do something but know you should be even better at it, but you can't get to the next level so you just keep doing what you do and eventually time passes and you have no improvement so you just get comfortable with your lacklustre ability and forget about improving? That's my mom at cooking, Hahahaha, and me at typing. I'm still aware that I truly need better consistency with my typing. I will try, but I need better focus.
I am going to be honest. Typing is so hard for me if I am not feeling good. I can't think clearly and I don't seem to be able to find the words I want. I believe I am having trouble with my brain turning my thoughts to text. I need to get typing and my thoughts aligned.
May I please tell you about my awesome Grandma? She tries so hard to make my life the best life. She always makes me smile and I love when I do stuff with her. All my grandparents are wonderful. I am lucky. I am singling out Grandma because she had an important birthday and it was so amazing to celebrate with her at a wonderful dinner. I hope that you have or have had a Grandma or a senior relative who loves you unconditionally like my Grandma and Nabs and Grandpa and Oompa. I am a believer in family and family is usually held together by the older generations. Don't be a fool and think you are too cool to hang out with the grandparents in your life.
Summertime fun time. Enjoy! Oh in Australia it's winter, enjoy that too!