Bad Days Get Better

I have anxiety. I struggle every day with it. It’s not like I’m upset or scared of something. It’s just something that takes control of me. It takes over my emotions. It can be triggered or just appear. It can last for a long time or for just a quick moment. It has been hard learning to deal with it — to calm myself to know it will get better. It has gotten better, I’m just not sure if I will stop getting anxiety or panic attacks. I love my parents. They are really supportive. They have helped me to learn about anxiety, showed me techniques to calm myself, and allow me to talk and talk and talk about anything. There’s nothing I can’t talk to them about. I need to talk to get my feelings out. I have a counsellor — I talk to her. It’s good to talk to get things out of my head. I just feel so much better after talking. I think I’m telling you this because I know I’m not alone. This has been a tough year. Many people are struggling, even if they don’t want you to know. Please don’t be afraid to talk to someone and if you can, let people talk to you. I am not an expert. I just know it’s harder when you can’t talk about things.

My techniques I use for calming myself besides talking include breathing exercises, going outside for walks, or drives with my Dad or Grandpa. I think about paddling or swimming — things that make me feel peaceful. I’m happy, that isn’t what I’m talking about. Anxiety is different. Just be kind to people. You might see them happy and not realize they are struggling with something else.

My blog has helped me tell people what is on my mind. I don’t know if I’m right or not. It is just my opinion and experiences. I don’t think I’m going to be a disability advocate in all my writing, but sometimes I need to say something. I think people are doing better. They are just not experienced with disability and make uninformed choices. I think people should start being comfortable with the word disability. I’m proud of who I am. I am disabled. That is part of me. I’m not ashamed of it and I know I can tell others that they need to provide the right access because I’m disabled. If you don’t let disabled kids know it’s ok to say they are disabled, they will not know how to advocate effectively for themselves. My mom tells me being disabled is ok. It’s who I am and I’m awesome. She treats me as normal and doesn’t let me use my disability as an excuse not to do something. We just figure out ways that I can. I love this. I think I’m stronger because I was taught to not give up, to not be ashamed, to know I deserve access. I think we need to give disabled kids the tools to succeed, not just be.

I don’t like any cute terms to sugar coat the word disability. Disabled is what I am, it is not a term I’m embarrassed about. It gives me my identity. I don’t want to be fixed. If you are a parent of a disabled child, become comfortable with the word, the world of disability. Follow disabled disability advocates on social media. Learn as much as you can from disabled adults — there are so many incredible people out there. Your comfort level with disability impacts your children. If you want them to be proud and happy with who they are, they need to know you are happy and proud of who they are.