Happiness Can't Be Constant
I am sad that all the ways I envision my future, I am never fully independent. I am working on more skills however sometimes I feel like I'm wasting away, going nowhere. What I'm saying is that I see my friends moving forward, and I'm going sideways. I am very scared that I am slipping away from where I want to be. I am working on projects, including some guest writing posts on literacy for the Provincial Outreach for Deafblindness. Here is the link if you want to check them out. There are four posts.
However, I'm so worried about what future work may be available for me. I'm especially concerned in regard to employment as a writer in a world of AI. I also know that I will likely need to create my own work opportunities. I'm stopping myself from doing this. I have a fear I am not capable. I have a fear I am doing the best I can right now and I will not improve. That I will not have anything of interest to write in the future. That I am already as accomplished as I will be. I'm doing okay, but I feel discouraged.
Oops, I sound upset. I'm actually more frustrated. I have been having a good year overall. I am just worried about my future.
I said before I want to change the world. I didn't know that the world would become such a disastrous mess. It is you versus them versus me. It's watch out for yourself and not your neighbours. I'm so disappointed in the world. Awful things are being said and people have become complacent with wrongdoing if it benefits themselves. Why have people become so obsessed with their happiness over everything else? I said that I believe everyone deserves happiness, not just me or you; that sometimes our happiness should come from helping others achieve happiness. It seems that instead of enjoying other people’s happiness, people are jealous of the success of others; not just individuals, but also sectors of people, political groups and world leaders. Happiness isn’t a constant, it can’t be; we would just become complacent and no longer happy. Everyone deserves happiness but it’s unrealistic for this to be the only experience. It’s easy to forget about the actual situation and go about your day, but it hangs over you; an uncomfortable cloud. I am grateful that I have a good life. I spend lots of time with wonderful people. I know most of us are wonderful people, and thus I’m hopeful that everything will work out in the world.
One of the awesome people in my life, my cousin Bambi Edlund, has written and illustrated some awesome award-winning books. They are funny and so creative.
I also want to share an awesome book that she illustrated, written by Stephanie Gibeault. "Dogs vs Humans (A Showdown of the Senses)" it's so fun to read and educational, but also the illustrations are amazing and I am proud that Bambi includes an illustration of young me with my cochlear implant. Representation is so important. I'm loving that a kid with a CI will see themselves represented in a book. Awesome.
